Polar Plunging

Hey y'all, this is the last blog post of the year! So I never did one of the cool poll thingies to ask what I should blog about for my last blog post (actually this probably won't be my last blog post, I'll probably get lonely over the summer so resort back to my friend, the internet), but I actually did have something interesting happen to me this week.

THE POLAR PLUNGE

If you're in my grade or somewhere in high school and you haven't heard about this, you probably live under a bigger rock than I do. No offense or anything. ;) This is a challenge that's kind of gone viral and it's where someone calls you out (someone who already did the challenge) and you have 24 hours or however many specified to go completely submerge yourself in cold water. Then you can pass it on to up to three people, and if those people don't do it, they have to donate money to charity or give you money (I'm not quite sure. I completed the challenge so I didn't discover the consequences).

As lame as this sounds, it was actually a blast. And I think the whole idea is pretty funny and cool. Get it? Nope? Okayyy....

I jumped in this

The day Ashley and I jumped in, it was sunny all day. The funny thing is that we were actually semi-concerned whether or not the water was going to be cold enough. Ha. Ha. Ha. Yeah, there was absolutely nothing to worry about, let me assure you.

So when Ashley and I got to the marina, we thought we were going to jump off the dock like a normal person would do the challenge. But here comes the problem, "What if it's not deep enough?" Well it was a marina, therefore boats came into it and docked there. So of course it was deep enough, but our compromised brains didn't realize that at that moment. Instead of jumping in, we ran in. Yup, cool people, coming through.

So you can imagine us, explaining our names, who we were gonna call out, who we were nominated by, yada, yada, yada, and then us conveniently running awkwardly through ice cold water. Yes, lovely to watch.

You can't really hear me because the wind, so I said, "My name is Pauline Kneller, I'm going to do the cold water challenge. I was nominated by Ashley Farquharson, and I'm calling out Paige Billow, Meredith Lawing, and Sydney Oraskovich.

Well I enjoyed this year of blogging, and I probably will post occasionally, but if you're not going to be checking this page anymore, see you next year (or the rest of this year since it's not over yet, or see you over the summer, or maybe I don't even know you)!

Fun fact about Pauline: I have a new anti-talent: golf.

An Abundance of Spaz Attacks

Hey y'all, sorry my post last week wasn't that interesting. It was a bad week therefore my blog post was bad. Anyways, I think spaz should be a word. Many of us use it but it's not a word, but it really should be. If combinations of letters like twerk and selfie can be considered words, why can't spaz be word? I mean it describes many of us teenage girls at many times, and we're always looking for new descriptive words, right? I just don't get it.

I've been like such a spaz the last weeks and here are some of the reasons why:

The Good

25 Days until Summer!

Like OMG YAY, I mean school is great, you learn, you get killed with homework, you wake up at 5 am five out of the seven days of the week, and really it's just an overall great time, but SUMMER, IT'S ALMOST HERE! 

I can almost taste it

Even Less Days until Marching Band!

Molly, fellow band geeks, this should also be good news for you. Marching band is a place of many disturbing but hilarious inside jokes, suffering, and pain, and yelling at each other (but somehow, at the end of it, we still manage to talk to the other people), five mornings a week of sweat and sun, and very uncomfortable black shoes.

Fatality

I Have a Horse Show on Saturday!

Yay, again! I'm riding this horse named Bay Magic, and let's just say he's amazing, and he's making getting over Gambit a little easier. But like OMG, I have a show on Saturday, and it's a three phase (which means nothing to you but oh well)! It's an actual eventing show where they have all three phases: dressage, stadium jumping, and cross country.

Fun times

We Have State Band on Friday!

Again, EEP! Like, I don't even know how we made it, but we did, and we get to miss out on another day of school, and I get to spend the day with people I actually like, and it's going to be so much fun!

I couldn't think of a gif to do for this one.... Pardon my lack of creativity.

The Bad

SAGE Testing

One word to describe this: ugh, gross, goshdarnit, crud, yucky, stupid, useless, glitchy, clearasmud, ridiculous, poopy. Oh wait, that was eleven (11, 1, same thing, just bear with me here).  I just love having to spend 50 minutes out of our given 80 minutes in the tech office while my computer is having software reinstalled (and not working), just for a glitchy, rough standardized test. Yup, definition of a great day. 

Can anyone relate?

Spotify

I'm still going to blame this on SAGE Testing, because through the software updates, they removed Spotify off my computer. And my main source for listening to music, gone? Yeah, I'm not a happy camper.

I. Have. A. B

Many of you are probably like, "Oh, boohoo Pauline, deal with it," but really, it is that bad.

You may think they are fine and innocent, but really they're just out there to ruin your dreams

I just reread the Divergent series and The Fault in Our Stars

I don't even know what to do with myself.

I can't look at pictures or gifs because it's going to bring back the feels, and no one wants to see Pauline spazzing out with the feels. Actually you might want to grab a video camera. 

Ciao!

Auditions!! (Part 2)

In my last post, I gave you the first very three steps on how to do an audition, and it just kind of abruptly ended. I decided I wouldn't throw like 1,200 words at you in one post, so you are welcome. But if any of you had an audition between the time I posted my last post, and now, you probably were completely lost because you were missing out on the rest of my expert advice on auditions! ;) JUST KIDDING! I have no idea how I made it into the band I was auditioning for so I wouldn't exactly call myself an expert....

 4. Finish your piece.

Correct way*: Grand finale! Dynamics, tone, musicality, rhythm! AND YOU DID IT! Breathe quietly and smile because you survived the first part.

Incorrect way: Grand finale! Oh wow, look how fast I'm playing this! There goes another five accidentals, I sound awesome! The piece ended, and I'm still playing. This may be an issue. Whoops. I might need to work on that some more.

Haha haha haha. Nope. 

5. Sight reading

Correct way: Look at piece. Oh sheesh! It's hard! Oh well don't panic. You don't have to be perfect. Key signature, time signature, dynamics, fingerings. Make sure you have your fingers for first five notes then you can work from there. Start when your ready, and even when it's hard, just keep looking for patterns. Play through, just worry about notes and rhythms, and don't stop. You made it! Not your best reading, but it could've been worse!

Incorrect way*: Look at piece. Oh sheesh! It's hard! PANIC! Those are really high notes!  I don't know those fingerings! Oh look this piece changes time signatures. That's nifty. Look at piece over and over, try to figure out first notes, but it doesn't work. Stare at piece. Person looks at watch again. Look at piece, try to start, mess up, and try again. Play through. Yup, this sounds great. I have no idea what I'm doing! Oh is that I spider in the corner! Nope, I'm just hallucinating. Oh good it's over. Oh well I wonder what that piece is supposed to sound like. Not like that!

This is scarier than spiders

6. Scales

Correct way*: Person asks you to play a scale from the lowest note you can play to the highest note you can play. Sweet! You know chromatic scales like the back of your hand!

Incorrect way: What's a scale? Where's the back of my hand? Oh look! I stopped shaking! Progress!!

7. Exit.

Correct way*: Look at the person auditioning you, say thank you, they nod back at you, grab your music, and walk out the door.

Incorrect way: Look at the person auditioning you, apologize (NEVER, EVER DO THIS IN AN AUDITION), they look at you like they don't know what to say, walk out, then shuffle back in nonchalantly because you forgot your music. Trip out door, and while closing the door behind you, say really loudly, "That was horrible!" and that person shakes their head in agreement.

Tripping over flat surfaces requires talent

TAH-DAH

Note to self, the stars are what I did. And no, I did not do all the incorrect ones, I'm not that special.

One last thing, if you are a band kid and haven't already seen this, you will appreciate this.

True fact... More on this next time

Auditions!! (Part 1)

First of all before we begin the fun, this happened before last weeks blog, but I didn't have time to write it then because I needed a de-stresser blog.


ANYWAYS, auditions.

FUN FUN FUN

How to do a successful audition/non successful musical audition.

1. Entrance to the audition.

Correct way: Walk into the room quietly and calmly, and make sure you have collected yourself. Close the door quietly, but make sure it is closed. Say hello to the person auditioning you, smile politely, tell them the piece you are doing.
*
Incorrect way: When the person before you comes out relieved, you stay in your seat and start shaking and hyperventilating. Then realize you need to do an audition so stand up, trip over your music stand, slam your reed or mouthpiece on something so it chips, freak out, then trip into the room you will be auditioning in. Smile sheepishly at the person auditioning you, shake nervously some more, realize you forgot to close the door, so go and slam the door close (whoops!). Shake even more, look at your reed/mouthpiece, and shake nervously some more. Then smile at the person, again (they probably think you are really creepy now), and introduce yourself (even though the band teacher already knows you) and your piece.

My general expression during auditions

2. Begin the piece.

Correct way*: After introducing yourself, don't wait too long to start because you don't want your audition to last forever. Start with a solid first note, just like you have been practicing, and make sure your audition-er doesn't know you only had four days to prepare the piece. Play through keeping calm thoughts in your mind but stay focused. You got this!

Incorrect way: After your failure of an introduction, realize you probably completely failed the whole thing. Would you look at that? You are still shaking. Wait forever to start piece because you are scared. What if you mess up on the first note?! What if you have to start over?! What if you miss an accidental?! Oh crud, he's looking at his watch. HE'S SO DISAPPOINTED IN ME! I DON'T KNOW  WHAT I'M DOING! WHY DID I EVEN DECIDE THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA! I'M SO STUPID I KNOW I CAN'T DO THIS! Unceremoniously start, and your tone sucks because you're shaking so much. Well at least you didn't mess up the first note, we'll take what we can get.

3. Play through your piece.

Correct way: After a smooth entrance, just play the way you have always practiced. Those accidentals come naturally, and so do the dynamics. This hard run is coming up, focus! Well, you missed a note, but don't start over, it's in the past now. YOU CAN DO THIS! You start shaking a little bit because everything has caught up to you, but don't give in. You know you want this, and you know you can do it!
*
Incorrect way*: OH HEY LOOK AT THAT ACCIDENTAL! WHEN DID THAT SHOW UP?! I guess there are just a bunch of fairies writing in notes to screw me up. WELL MY AUDITION-ER WILL NEVER KNOW! It's not like he's heard this piece a thousand times before.. Nope! Well on the bright side, I'm not shaking anymore, I'm vibrating. Oh wo, look at this run, my brain now thinks I have never seen it. Okay let's restart that bar quickly. Shoot! I was told to never restart! Oh crud, now I need to restart this too. This is really lovely, I'm enjoying myself. I didn't know it was physically possible for a human to shake nervously this fast.

I shall continue later!

Things Not to Eat on Dates

Not that I would be an expert on this, but here we go.


1) Salad. Wait what? I thought that was one of the few things that was acceptable on a date! Nope, not if you're like my friend, Julia, anyways. Or me. We both end up looking like stupid confused dinosaurs when we eat salad.

Nom nom nom

2) Ribs. If you think you can pull off ribs on a date, you can't. And your date agrees.

3) Fried Chicken. There is no nice clean way to eat fried chicken. Go all the way or go home. Loser. Hence why you don't eat that on a date.

4) Spaghetti. Nothing's more attractive then unsuccessfully slurping up a slimy, sauce-covered noodle, just for it to come and slap you on the forehead, leave a nice line of sauce on your forehead (hey, your date might think it's cute, but probably not. Most likely not. Definitely not), and then magically drop onto your sundress. I love having sauce on my face, I think it's adorable.

5) Wings. Unless you are super talented and can somehow eat wings in a womanly manner. If you can do that, then who would pass up an opportunity to eat wings?!

6) Burgers. If you're me, or anything like me, burger is a recipe for disaster. Get it? Haha. Oh, that's just me laughing at my own jokes. You probably shouldn't do that on a date either.

Save this for later

7) Cream of Chicken Soup. If your date tells you something funny, then you are very likely to laugh and have this creamy soup come out of your nose. Gahody.

8) Super cheesy pizza. I'm sorry, this is unacceptable. You can go home and enjoy the stringy warm cheesiness in your lap at home. Until then, you must choose something else on the menu.

9) Garlic. Yup, you will smell bad.

Come give me a hug

10) Corn on the cob. Mmhmm, I bet you look like a model gnawing away viciously at that corn.

11) Spinach. Just don't do it. I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy intimately staring at someone with a piece of big green glob stuck in one of their front teeth.

This is not you, it never will be

12) Maybe you just shouldn't eat anything on a date. I think movie or laser tag would be a safer bet.

Crazy Dressage Interpretations

Well, people who have been following since my first post (if any of you exist), you should know that I switched horses fairly recently so I could do a sport I love: eventing. This consists of jumping, cross country, and dressage. Gambit, my horse, however, prefers the jumping and cross country part of it much better. That's not to say I don't either (I definitely like jumping better, I mean, who gets adrenaline from making your horse bounce and do unnatural movements, sitting, and smiling and pretending that you are doing what you should be doing? I don't! But it's necessary, so whatever), but dressage is definitely a main part of eventing.

After today's lesson, I realized dressage was going to be much harder than everyone originally planned. Yes, Gambit is very good at looking pretty, and is fairly good at listening to instructions but he hasn't mastered these things called leads, and so that means no matter how good we look, dressage will be impossible. Well maybe not impossible, but the art form we would be doing would not be called dressage, but more like let's-prance-around-the-arena-and-scare-the-crap-out-of-my-rider-and-make-her-cry-because-I-wanted-to-eat-those-flowers-instead-of-trot-from-k-through-x-to-m. Yes, I'm not over exaggerating. I also would go into much more explanation, but I would bore my few readers of this blog away from this URL for unhappily ever after.

Back to riding, if I were to go into competition right now for dressage, my test would look like this:

This is not what a dressage test should look like.

Well what happened today in the lesson? It wasn't a bad lesson, but I definitely wasn't a star today. Let's say we were supposed to be cantering in a circle, a 30m circle, and picture this: A teenage girl on a huge black horse racing all over the 200m riding ring, speeding around on the wrong lead, changing directions every few seconds, and the trainer telling the poor teenage girl to calmly to toggle her reigns, sit back, think slow thoughts, breathe, and think what she wanted to look like. Ladies and gentlemen, Pauline and Gambit. Yes, because these are things humans love to do when speeding around crazily on an ex racehorse.

Who here knows what dressage is supposed to look like?

I promise, I really can ride, I'll start posting videos soon when I actually remember my video camera has a working battery and can take videos. Well in the meantime, if any of my readers (like five or ten of you) are actually riders, here's a short survival guide about how to relax and have a dressage test go well. Go riding!