Polar Plunging

Hey y'all, this is the last blog post of the year! So I never did one of the cool poll thingies to ask what I should blog about for my last blog post (actually this probably won't be my last blog post, I'll probably get lonely over the summer so resort back to my friend, the internet), but I actually did have something interesting happen to me this week.

THE POLAR PLUNGE

If you're in my grade or somewhere in high school and you haven't heard about this, you probably live under a bigger rock than I do. No offense or anything. ;) This is a challenge that's kind of gone viral and it's where someone calls you out (someone who already did the challenge) and you have 24 hours or however many specified to go completely submerge yourself in cold water. Then you can pass it on to up to three people, and if those people don't do it, they have to donate money to charity or give you money (I'm not quite sure. I completed the challenge so I didn't discover the consequences).

As lame as this sounds, it was actually a blast. And I think the whole idea is pretty funny and cool. Get it? Nope? Okayyy....

I jumped in this

The day Ashley and I jumped in, it was sunny all day. The funny thing is that we were actually semi-concerned whether or not the water was going to be cold enough. Ha. Ha. Ha. Yeah, there was absolutely nothing to worry about, let me assure you.

So when Ashley and I got to the marina, we thought we were going to jump off the dock like a normal person would do the challenge. But here comes the problem, "What if it's not deep enough?" Well it was a marina, therefore boats came into it and docked there. So of course it was deep enough, but our compromised brains didn't realize that at that moment. Instead of jumping in, we ran in. Yup, cool people, coming through.

So you can imagine us, explaining our names, who we were gonna call out, who we were nominated by, yada, yada, yada, and then us conveniently running awkwardly through ice cold water. Yes, lovely to watch.

You can't really hear me because the wind, so I said, "My name is Pauline Kneller, I'm going to do the cold water challenge. I was nominated by Ashley Farquharson, and I'm calling out Paige Billow, Meredith Lawing, and Sydney Oraskovich.

Well I enjoyed this year of blogging, and I probably will post occasionally, but if you're not going to be checking this page anymore, see you next year (or the rest of this year since it's not over yet, or see you over the summer, or maybe I don't even know you)!

Fun fact about Pauline: I have a new anti-talent: golf.

Showtime

I survived SAGE!!!

Or at least the English portion of it...

Well you're probably thinking, "Did a bush try to kill you or something?"

Actually no you're probably not thinking that. You could be thinking anything like, "What's for dinner tonight?" Or, "What dress should I wear to that party?" (actually never mind, if you're thinking that, you probably don't even know me, let alone read my blog...). Or you could be thinking, "I wonder what a taco would look like if it had hands. Like would I be a cannibal if I ate a taco with hands?"

Okay guys, take a moment to imagine what a taco would look like if it had hands. *Shivers*

Okay not too bad

So I was at a show this last weekend and, yeah, I got first (insert applause here). Just kidding, I'm just as surprised as you are that I got first.

 So at the show on Saturday, I was warming up this pony named Goldie for this little eight year old who is kind of on our show team. It was early morning like 7:00 in the morning on Saturday (therefore very early) and I was cross country schooling her so she would be warmed up to the jumps, wouldn't spook, and would take all the jumps with the kid on her.

The first 3/4 mile went great; only a few refusals and that was because the jumps were pretty strange looking in the shadows. Then we got to the water, and she was still fine. And then she spooked at the jump coming out of the water. So I took her through the water again, soaking my show breeches. She took the jump without even looking at it (great, thanks, Goldie). Then there was a ginormous tunnel tent thing that was pretty sketchy and had a loose tarp on top of it, and it was windy.

So this dark horrifying thing creating shadows and a ton of noise was right next to the last obstacle. So Goldie doesn't even look at it. Then as we get to the bank, at a canter, she decides to stop and step to the side. I went over, and was hanging on her neck like a sloth on a tree (and let me tell you, that horse was not in the least bit okay with me hanging from her neck).

Probably something like this

Well, um yay I didn't fall off! What was my motivation? Keeping the show breeches clean. They were all soaking wet, so I refused to get them muddy too. Wow, I care more about my pants than my health..

There was also a dressage test which, let's say that did't go too well. I'm riding this ex-international show horse, and I couldn't do well on a simple dressage course (proves that it's not just the horse that does the work and the rider just sits there; you have to work your butt off). We were supposed to go down a center line, and I was about six feet off the center. Also, part of the dressage test was filled with random circles, and on my score sheet, the lady put, "Your circles look more like lopsided squares. Please fix geometry."

I have something to say, but I won't.

Even though I knew I didn't do that well, I may or may not have gotten touchy after a poor dressage test.

Sorry about a super horsey post, but I was just In the Mood for that, and thought I had some pretty exciting news.

An Abundance of Spaz Attacks

Hey y'all, sorry my post last week wasn't that interesting. It was a bad week therefore my blog post was bad. Anyways, I think spaz should be a word. Many of us use it but it's not a word, but it really should be. If combinations of letters like twerk and selfie can be considered words, why can't spaz be word? I mean it describes many of us teenage girls at many times, and we're always looking for new descriptive words, right? I just don't get it.

I've been like such a spaz the last weeks and here are some of the reasons why:

The Good

25 Days until Summer!

Like OMG YAY, I mean school is great, you learn, you get killed with homework, you wake up at 5 am five out of the seven days of the week, and really it's just an overall great time, but SUMMER, IT'S ALMOST HERE! 

I can almost taste it

Even Less Days until Marching Band!

Molly, fellow band geeks, this should also be good news for you. Marching band is a place of many disturbing but hilarious inside jokes, suffering, and pain, and yelling at each other (but somehow, at the end of it, we still manage to talk to the other people), five mornings a week of sweat and sun, and very uncomfortable black shoes.

Fatality

I Have a Horse Show on Saturday!

Yay, again! I'm riding this horse named Bay Magic, and let's just say he's amazing, and he's making getting over Gambit a little easier. But like OMG, I have a show on Saturday, and it's a three phase (which means nothing to you but oh well)! It's an actual eventing show where they have all three phases: dressage, stadium jumping, and cross country.

Fun times

We Have State Band on Friday!

Again, EEP! Like, I don't even know how we made it, but we did, and we get to miss out on another day of school, and I get to spend the day with people I actually like, and it's going to be so much fun!

I couldn't think of a gif to do for this one.... Pardon my lack of creativity.

The Bad

SAGE Testing

One word to describe this: ugh, gross, goshdarnit, crud, yucky, stupid, useless, glitchy, clearasmud, ridiculous, poopy. Oh wait, that was eleven (11, 1, same thing, just bear with me here).  I just love having to spend 50 minutes out of our given 80 minutes in the tech office while my computer is having software reinstalled (and not working), just for a glitchy, rough standardized test. Yup, definition of a great day. 

Can anyone relate?

Spotify

I'm still going to blame this on SAGE Testing, because through the software updates, they removed Spotify off my computer. And my main source for listening to music, gone? Yeah, I'm not a happy camper.

I. Have. A. B

Many of you are probably like, "Oh, boohoo Pauline, deal with it," but really, it is that bad.

You may think they are fine and innocent, but really they're just out there to ruin your dreams

I just reread the Divergent series and The Fault in Our Stars

I don't even know what to do with myself.

I can't look at pictures or gifs because it's going to bring back the feels, and no one wants to see Pauline spazzing out with the feels. Actually you might want to grab a video camera. 

Ciao!

Lessons for Little Kids

I've just been teaching a lot of horseback riding lessons to little kids, and let's just say kids are, um, interesting. Each one is so different. There are a few that are totally helpful and adorable and you just love them, then there are some that just don't stop talking about how much they know about horses. They think they are the most brilliant kid on the planet because they realized horses like carrots. Yup, bravo, kid, bravo. The world is much, much better with your brilliance being contributed to the world.

Then there are others who don't talk at all and it's just super duper awkward.

*Kid is silent

You're silent

Kid is silent

You're silent

You blurt out unceremoniously, "Um what did you have for lunch today?"

Kid is silent

You discreetly say, "Oh okay, never mind."*

 Then there are those kids who are chatty and it's not awkward, but it's a disaster when you put them on a horse. Like they were holding there reins above their heads. Then they glare at you when you ask them to lower their hands. NO KID THAT DOES NOT MAKE YOU LOOK COOL!

The worst is when you give a tiny jumping lesson and this happens.

Ouch!

And then the saving grace is when you have all six of your lessons done so you can go ride.

And then the horse spends ten minutes with their nose in the air like, "HEY GUESS WHAT?! YOU CAN'T REACH ME! NANANANANA HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS SO MUCH FUN!"

No, what?! My day didn't go like that! Psh what are you talking about?

Things Not to Try at Home

Through my experiences, these are some things you probably shouldn't try.. Again, based on my skill level, these things may be easy for you, but they ended badly for me, so consider yourself warned. Don't judge me, this is going to be really random, but I have a severe case of writer's block right now, so I was trying to think of something, and this is the best I could come up with.


At home, do not attempt to:

1. Make cookie pizzas

Yes, I am very skilled at baking and nearly caught my oven on fire while trying to make a cookie pizza. The cookie pizza was very yummy, but it was not a very attractive cookie, and let's just say, let's be thankful we didn't have to buy a new oven.

When making a cookie pizza, make sure there are about two inches from the cookie to the edge of the pan. If you don't, the cookie dough will barf all over the inside of your oven, making it look like World War III Food Edition, and then you will have the brilliant idea to hit the button "Clean" on your oven, and you will watch expectantly hoping for the grossness just to go away. To your dismay, you watch your cookie turn black very quickly, and the wax paper underneath it catch on fire.

Don't make cookie pizzas without strict adult supervision. Otherwise, you will spend two and a half hours cleaning and deodorizing your oven.

I can't bake and neither can this person

2. Watch horror movies while holding your poodle

I have two poodles, and they're standard poodles so they are big. I was watching a horror movie at home alone, and because I was scared, I went and picked up my 50 pound poodle, and resumed the movie. I'm not sure why his eyes were bugging out; maybe because he was scared too, or maybe I was squeezing him so tight I was suffocating him. To this very day, I probably know why.

3. Decide to fry ice cream

One day I was really board and decided I was going to fry ice cream so I turned the stove on high, put a bunch of oil in the pan, and put ice cream in the pan, then put it on the stove. Ya, I just had a really hot stove and gurgling puddle of oil and ice cream that was starting to burn. It smelled awful.

Don't be fooled, it will not look like this.

4. Paint your nails while cooking ramen

You will end up with a floor of noodles, I feel like I don't need to explain myself.

5. Put a TV mount on the wall with a drill, a screwdriver, and your brother.

I'm surprised I don't have a broken toe.

6. Try to light a tissue on fire because you don't know what will happen.

The tissue will burn and then when it's at your fingers, you will drop it because you didn't think it through then it will leave a black hole on your carpet (I was in third grade, no judging, remember?).

Before you know it, it will be on your carpet

7. Bareback race some ponies that you are taller than.

You will fall on your butt, and laugh hysterically until the little booger comes running around again and you will scream, inhale some dirt, roll away, and wonder why you are still alive.

A for effort

8. Open netflix before your homework is done.

I, again, don't need to explain myself.

9. Watch your brother play COD because you will earn yourself an unhealthy addiction of refusing to go downstairs because you are afraid of hearing that horrible moan/grunt of a zombie.


I didn't end on 10, just to be evil >:)  Haha, see ya next week!